On February 16th and 17th, my husband and I attended the annual Living United Marriage conference in Branson, MO. It was an incredible experience! The messages really have helped already in how we view and connect with each other. I’ve always thought we had a pretty happy marriage, but even in the best marriage, I know that we’re still human. There’s always room for improvement in your relationship with your spouse! And the marriage conference we attended was exactly what we needed to grow our relationship a little bit further.
I took about 10 pages of notes from the sessions taught by Kurt Skelley, Steve Brudnak, and John Schlager and found…
20 POWERFUL AND CONVICTING STATEMENTS ABOUT DEVELOPING A GOOD MARRIAGE:
1. Love is not something you primarily feel: it is a choice of action.
2. Are you in love with having a picture perfect home or are you in love with your husband? You have stuff: don’t let stuff have you. Don’t let things cause problems with your spouse: they’re just things after all.
3. The best thing you can do for your marriage is to be right with God yourself so quit trying to work on your husband. Resist being your husband’s holy spirit: God will do the job of convicting him to change much better than you ever can.
4. In a loving environment, you will always attract moochers because love gives. If you’re not careful, you can slide into the role of being a taker. To combat this, never focus on what you can get out of your marriage, but rather on what you can give to your marriage.
5. Erosion will do what explosion will never do: watch and take care with the daily choices of loving your spouse. Avoid neglect even when schedules get busy.
6. God put you and your spouse together because together you are able to accomplish far more for God than you could alone. It’s not 1+1 = 2, but rather through multiplication your accomplishments for His glory can grow dramatically.
7. Don’t compete with your spouse: work together to reach mutual goals.
8. Let your spouse, when you’re not together, always be the unseen presence that follows you. Say, “My spouse and I,” “my husband,” and “my family” whenever you can instead of referring only to yourself in conversation.
9. The most important word in your marriage is not love, but trust. Trust is the foundation to every other word in your marriage. The most important thing you can do for your spouse is to keep your word. If there’s no honesty, there nothing in your marriage.
10. There are three ways to be dishonest: lying, evasiveness, and hypercriticism. All three can destroy your marriage.
11. Kids who stay in church after they leave home are typically the ones who had parents were the same people in the home as they were outside the home. These parents do not teach their children that there is a backstage and a front stage to Christianity.
12. Whenever possible, over-communicate. Suspicion will fill in every space that communication does not fill.
13. God did not bring you and your spouse together to be happy: He brought you together to be holy. Happiness is a byproduct of holiness, but the byproduct is never meant to be your goal.
14. Wives cannot submit, husbands cannot love, and children cannot obey separate from the help of the Spirit of God.
15. When you try to make a marriage better by trying harder, you fail harder. The key to your together time is your alone time with God, not trying harder.
16. When you walk in the Spirit, you will have the byproduct of having everything your spouse needs from you supplied through His power.
17. Never be willing to submit to your authorities in your vocation and in your ministry and then refuse to be willing to submit to your husband.
18. Never discourage ANY positive effort towards spirituality even if you don’t think it will work.
19. Do not dissociate yourself from your husband’s calling. If your husband is called to be a preacher, you be the best preacher’s help meet that’s ever been. If your husband is called to be a diesel mechanic, you be the best diesel mechanic’s help meet that’s ever been.
20. There are no secrets between a husband and a wife in a successful marriage.
I hope these statements help you as much as they helped me! If you ever get a chance to attend a marriage conference, I strongly suggest it! I know it’s hard to give up the time, but every one we’ve attended has made a positive impact in the relationship I have with my spouse.