WHAT MATTERS MORE IN MARRIAGE, THAN BEING RIGHT
This morning as I was leaving for work, I backed out of my driveway and I drove right into my husband’s nearly-new car. I almost immediately burst into tears and as I walked out to see how bad the damage was, I knew immediately all the things my husband could say to me in the next few minutes.
He could tell me I should have been more careful and he would have been right. He could tell me I had cost us several hundred dollars in repairs because of my carelessness and he would have been right. He could tell me about looking in my blind spot and driving slowly and he would have been right. But instead, he walked out to the car, looked at it, turned around and hugged me. He told me it would be okay.
As I was approaching our driveway coming home from work, my heart squeezed with stress. I knew the minute I saw the car that my guilt and fear would return from this morning. But as I rounded the corner into our driveway and took a good look at the car, I noticed a little tan thing hanging out in the middle of that giant smashed in a piece of the car. My husband had put a band-aid on the car! I couldn’t help but laugh.
He walked out to meet me, gave me another hug, and told me he’d put that band-aid on there to remind me that everything would be okay. He knew I’d beat myself up again over the car.
My husband showed me (again) why we have a really good marriage. You see, it’s incredibly easy in marriage to focus on who’s right. I struggle with this often. But to have a successful marriage, you must be willing to focus on loving each more than blaming each other.
So, yes: my husband will probably leave his Sunday dress clothes strewn across our house like confetti at a birthday party. And I will probably still leave every cabinet door that I touch open. He will forget to pay rent on time and I will lose my keys on a nearly daily basis. But we don’t focus all our energy on those things or focus on who is right in those arguments. We’ve come to realize the key to a happy marriage is found in Philippians 2:2-4:
“Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
The more unified we are in our marriage and thinking, the more we esteem each other better than ourselves, the more we look at how to make the other person happier instead of ourselves, the happier our marriage becomes. We don’t expect perfection from each other: we expect mutual respect and love. We choose to not lay blame and we both apologize when we know we’ve wronged each other. We would rather see our spouse happy than know that we won an argument between us. We know that love matters more than being right.
So, how are you doing with your marriage? If you take an honest look at the past week, has being right or loving your husband been your focus? A happy marriage is entirely attainable with your correct focus. 🙂